I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
A bitchslap is in order.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
