I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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