her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
