I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
