and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Even my vagina gasped.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
