I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
