Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
