This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
