you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
