It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
