She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
