I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
