That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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