ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
