She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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