I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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