i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
