U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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