What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
