You can't special order awesome
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
