Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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