Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
