Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
