YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
