Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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