No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
