you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
