I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
