Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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