i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
