Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
