At least make sure they are 18
Why
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
