Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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