Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
