drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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