I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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