i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
