Kareoke will never be a sober sport
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
