i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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