I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
