you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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