Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
