community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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