I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
