i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
