you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Girls should come with a carfax report
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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