I think i sorta joined a cult last night
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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