That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
