I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
