I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
