I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
